Above All

I've been reading through 1 Samuel the past couple of days and I am falling in love with the story of David. I've been wanting to just study his life for awhile now, as it has always sparked an interest in me. Who wouldn't want to know more about "A man after God's own heart"?

What has captured my attention however, are far different things than what I have expected. Hannah for instance- she kept asking for a child, more specifically sons. Her husband Elkanah's other wife, her rival, kept "provoking her in order to irritate her" Scripture says because she has not yet born children. She tormented her even until she wept, and what amazed me was what it says in 1 Samuel 1:8 "Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?" Later on, Hannah prayed with all of her heart for a son, and even promised God that if He did give her a son, she would return him to Him. Later on, Hannah did have a son, and kept her promise saying "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of Him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." (1 Samuel 1:27-28)

Hannah named her son Samuel, and he became a great prophet. At Samuel's old age, he appointed his sons as judges over Israel. This didn't work however, and Israel asked for a king. This troubled him, so he sought the LORD. The LORD said, "Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected Me as their King. As they have done from the day I brought them out of Egypt until this day, forsaking Me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you. Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will do." (1 Samuel 8:7-9)

Samuel told all of Israel what the LORD told him it would be like if they did have a king, and they did not listen. So he anointed Saul, and Saul became king, and failed them miserably disobeying God's commands.

I feel like I can relate to the Israelites here. Last spring, I wanted someone to be with. I wanted a friend, a deep relationship, anything. I just got back from going to college for two years. I was used to being around great friends all the time. Once I got home though, I had no one my age. I believe God really wanted to fill this void in my life. He wanted to become my best friend. He wanted to become my lover. But I begged and begged for someone, anyone to come into my life so that I wouldn't be alone anymore..as if God wasn't enough.

A few months later, He gave me people to hang out with. Then I realized that I stopped focusing on God. I started putting my earthly relationships way before Him. I lost my peace, I didn't feel His presence. I was rebelling. Like how God wanted to be the king over Israel, to lead them, to fight their battles for them, so did he want to be my lover, my best friend. He wants to laugh, and sing, and dance with me. I just didn't let Him in.

After much prayer and brutal awakenings, I decided I needed to dispose of the things that were hindering my relationship with God. It was possibly one of the best decisions ever. Like how Hannah's husband was saying to her, "am I not more than ten sons?" I feel like that's kinda what God has been saying to me for the past few years. "Am I not more than enough for you? I AM LOVE!! And you're looking for some unperfected being to love you? HA!" I can just hear Him laughing at me and shaking His head.

Once the relationship ended however, I completely broke down my walls. Every day, I grow closer and closer. I can feel Him drawing me in. I can feel Him fixing me to be the person He created me to be. I told Him I wanted Him to be my everything. I wanted to make Jesus my groom. For Him to fill me up until I'm overflowing. For Him to by my comforter, my provider, my best friend, the one I long to spend time with, Him to be the one I'm obsessed with. Little by little, as I'm letting go, He's answering. He is providing for me, He is loving me, I find myself spending more and more time with Him and absolutely LOVING IT. I see Him working miracles in my life, and completely astounding me with His love and kindness.

He is literally changing the way I think about just about everything. Things that I thought were important, He's breaking down. He's providing absolutely everything from emotional things, to financial things, and I am so blown away that He is doing this for me. Because He loves me! How great is that that the Creator of the universe loves ME? This is crazy! How could I possibly want more, when He is above all.

The Lord our God is more than enough. He wants to be our leader, He wants to satisfy us. He wants us to give everything to Him. Not only so that we can be successful, but so that He will receive glory.

God, help me put You above all. Help me to be completely obsessed and satisfied with You alone. Do whatever it takes to draw me closer to You. In every situation, in every circumstance, in every relationship, I want You to be glorified. I want to crave You. Help me to believe, and help me overcome my disbelief. Thank You for all that You are and all that You've done. I Praise You. In Jesus Name, Amen.